The Ruski Report: Putin plays games in the Baltic, sucker punches the Ukraine, confuses NATO, inspires this montage

Since Russia annexed the territory of Crimea in March, things have not been quite right in Eastern Europe. In Ukraine, there is still fighting in Donetsk. Meanwhile, Russia is expanding their sights beyond the Ukraine, venturing to the Baltic states as well (Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia), but not quite to the point of full-fledged invasion–because they can’t. Why can’t they attack the Baltics, you ask? Well, the Baltic States are now part of NATO, and attacking one country in NATO amounts to an attack on all the countries that are part of NATO, including the United States.

So what does Russia decide to do instead of blatantly invade the Baltic countries? They play little games where we can’t REALLY blame Putin & Friends for doing anything wrong. Making the Baltic States and the rest of NATO nervous isn’t really grounds for a counter-attack, even if it does make us squirm. Ultimately, all Russia seems to want is for the rest of the world to fear it, so it’ll continue being shady if not very suspicious

Since I, along with everybody else, can’t REALLY prove that Russia is up to no good, I’ll need to sensationalize a bit, play on emotion, etc., etc.. So please, press play to begin the theme song from “The Hunt for Red October” as you read along to this whimsical list of ridiculous, suspicious things Russia has done.

All good on the sound? Great. You may proceed…

  1. In September,  according to NPR: “Eerik-Niiles Kross, former Estonian intelligence chief and national security adviser, says the Russian team jammed communications in the area, fired smoke bombs to cover its moves, crossed the border, kidnapped Kohver and spirited him back to Russia before Kohver’s back-up team could react.” Yea, you read that right. They jammed communications, fired smoke bombs, and kidnapped this tough-looking guy: eston-kohver-69682799
  2. Meanwhile, minors from Lithuania were taken to Russian paramilitary camps. Delfi, a Lithuanian news agency, writes: “‘Sources say that kids are taught to shoot, withstand psychological pressure and even conduct psychological operations in these camps,’ writes Participants are referred to as ‘soldiers’ by the camp organizers on their webpage.” Anyone else think these camps seem fishy? Because this is what they look like:  russian paramilitary camps
  3. And then, just in October, there has been something going on in the Baltic Sea (all three Baltic States border the Baltic Sea). According to CNN: “The Swedish military on [October 20] intensified a search in the ocean off Stockholm for an underwater mystery vessel, but stopped short of calling it a submarine.” When else would Sweden find an opportunity to use ships like this?swedish ships
  4.  And NOW, what is going on? Well, the BBC reports: “A Russian spy plane has been intercepted by NATO jets over the Baltic Sea, the alliance says, amid heightened tensions in the region.” russian spy planes


Does it all feel a little suspicious to you? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.